Super Humble

by tobias crabtree

My buddy, Hunter, is bald. He’s approximately my age, slightly younger, but who cares? Once you’re in your forties you round down when it comes to age. Hunter is a handsome kinda bald, he never messed around with trying to salvage what was left, he just shaved it all. Once, when I was visiting him at Orion Forge, I shaved my head and I said, “Look Hunt, I’m bald too!” He glanced up from the anvil and cracked back, “no, you’re shaved, and there’s a difference, homie.” Of course, he’s right about that. Shaved is a choice and bald ain’t. Choices are nice, but life is the dealer and we each get the cards we get. I try to be like Hunter but I always come up short…literally and figuratively.

I have a few friends like Hunter. They remind me to look down and check to see who’s standing in my shoes. It’s real good to see who you are through the eyes of an honest friend. My close friends are important in many ways, especially when I misbehave. Nothing like a buddy calling you out for being arrogant or petty or mean. It’s like taking a forced bath in cold water, yeah sure you come out clean but that doesn’t mean it’s fun. It’s tricky scrubbing a bad attitude off your face.

The thing is, it’s good, really good, for me to be adjusted. The same goes for the opposite, it’s really bad when someone thinks they can’t be told when they’re wrong. I like picking on Donald Trump. I love to point out that he’s just never wrong, no matter what. He’s the perfect example of someone who’s used to being correct, even when he’s off his rocker. It would be so interesting to strip him naked and drop him in the middle of a tribe that doesn’t use money. I imagine he would be largely ignored because he’s so dependent on monetary power. I wonder if he would adapt or if he would be left behind. Some people find humility to be too large a pill to swallow.

Humility is probably my finest attribute. It’s at least in the top 5 things that I do really well. I always struggle naming the things I’m good at…so many to choose from!

I’ve been wondering lately if it’s too late for me to start a mid-life crisis. I mean, 48 is pushing it. I feel like mid-life crises are kind of expensive. Maybe I’ll just cut my hair into a mohawk and dye it purple. How much is purple hair dye anyway? I should call Hunter and run it by him. I can’t afford a convertible corvette but I just bought a new mountain bike. What else? I just hope my friends stay supportive through this trying time. Life is rough all over here in America where we have the luxury of reality TV real estate moguls running for president and run-of-the-mill derelicts pondering the color of their next mohawk.

I really do like purple mohawks.