cache’s take

by tobias crabtree

cache is 4 and a half. his mother and father are good friends of mine and i had the opportunity to interview cache while dinner was being made at heather’s house on the river. the specialness of the place and the purity of the little dude blended together to make me understand that life is sweet, time is short, and wisdom is not just a product of old age.

me: how old are you, cache?

cache: i’m four and a half. not too long ago i was only four.

me: wow, do you know how old i am? i’m 46.

cache: whoa.

me: what’s the most amazing thing that’s happened to you in your life so far?

cache: well, so far, umm, turning 4 and a half is the most amazing thing. (this followed by a two shoulder shrug that indicated that i should know this kind of thing). getting to 4 and a half was kind of a short, long time.

me: nice. can you think of your earliest memory?

cache: not really, but i think i remember my mom.

me: do you know what your first word was?

cache: umm, yes, i said boobs because i love my mama’s milk. i saw myself on a video once and i said it. i was really little.

me: where do you think babies are before they are in a mama’s tummy?

cache: oh, they are in tiny capsules in between the stars and they are sent down when it’s time. and people think they are from nasa but they aren’t they are from farther away. the aliens know where they are because they are out there too.

me: so babies wait out there in the stars before they are ready for a mama?

cache: yes, mmhmm. way out there, like farther than the moon and even the sun.

me: that’s amazing. do you lay in bed and dream about stuff like this?

cache: well, sometimes i have dreams but mostly i sleep when i’m in bed.

me: do you like to set an alarm and wake up early?

cache: no way, i don’t need an alarm; after all, i’m only 4 and a half so why would i need an alarm?

me: i guess that’s a silly question. 4 and a half year olds should throw their alarm clocks toward the sun.

cache: yeah, cuz  when your 4 and a half you don’t need to worry about alarms or phone calls.

me: no phone calls, huh?

cache: nope.

me: what about texts?

cache: no way, man. (laughing)

me: 4 and a half year olds should throw their phones toward the sun as well. (laughing)

cache: yeah! (laughing and acting it out followed by a kind of burning up sound that he makes with his mouth…you know, like the sun burning up a phone kind of sound that 4 and a half year olds tend to make when they are really getting the point across)

me: what do you think of salamanders?

cache: love ’em. but i love my dog more because he doesn’t bite, he only licks my face because he loves me.

me: i see that (dog licking cache’s little scrunched up face). umm, cache, do you  mind if i write some of these words down and put them on the interweb? you might get kinda famous.

cache: naw, i don’t mind. why would i get famous?

me: because you’re so real, people aren’t used to that.

cache: oh, ok.


this interview took place over the course of an hour and a half. some of the things were edited out because they were too wonderful to even put into words. like his favorite animal which is a koowee, an imaginary animal with the head of a bandicoot and the body of a turtle (kind of) and sharp teeth that are spaced out like a crocodile’s teeth. it can be as small as a dime or as big as a house. it also has antlers that are like antennae. the time with cache also included talking about mountains and birds and rivers and how many miles it is to the sky. all of this stuff combined. all these bits of a wonderful imagination mixed with an already amazing reality. and heather was in her kitchen making dinner. and the merced was rumbling a couple hundred feet below us on the way to the sea where it will send messages of the mountains to the stones underneath. and the stars blinked on while we talked. and the little babies in their tiny capsules zipped around in between the galaxies. and the life that is the universe was churning and turning like it has all these millions of years.

good job, young cache, thanks for the lesson in life.